Monday, September 18, 2006

Monumental Decision

Happy Monday Flan,
I don't know if I've told you or not, but religion is big in The South. Ok, you're smart enough to have figured that out on your own by now. The thing is, that religious ferver is not limited to religion, but, in fact, includes two football teams as well. There are, apparently, only two teams. One is Alabama, the other Auburn. There are no atheists in football. You must choose a side. I am happy to say that I have chosen. The answer is: Auburn.
The reasons I didn't vote for Alabama.
1. Alabama's mascot is an elephant. I feel me arse resembles an elephant. I don't want my team's mascot to remind me I really ought to stop eating the peppermint chip bars I made last night and get to the treadmill.
2. Alabama's colors are crimson & gray. The (evil) cougar's (WSU) colors are crimson & gray. My DNA would mutiny if I rooted for anything crimson & gray.
3. Alabama has a rally cry of "Crimson Tide". Every time I hear it or see it I am reminded of the line in the movie Clueless about everyone catching the "Crimson Wave". The two phrases are just closely related enough that I want to reach for the Midol every time I encounter it.
A big reason I voted for Auburn:
1. The colors are the same as Mac's. Were I ever to have anything blue & orange I would have the school spirity bagpipes playing in my head- however, here no one knows that Mac exists, so at least their assumptions of my loyalty will be in favor of a good school.
2. Auburn's ranked number 3. Mac's football team is a euphamism at best and a money sucking pit of doom if looked at in the light of reality. It's nice to be able to wear blue & orange and root for a team that might actually win.
3. Auburn just beat LSU. That seems good.

This doesn't seem like much in the big picture, but here it seems mandatory. I am now off to buy some blueberry & orange jelly bellys in celebration of our win.

1 comment:

Gracie said...

And, everything is better that comes from Auburn. Looserlusca is just gross and smelly and they aren't nice. Plus, Alabama fans have a greater likelihood of going to hell and I like you a lot and I don't wanna have to worry about your immortal soul. Good choice going with Auburn.