Dear Yarn Store,

I sincerely love your website. You have a physical store but it is thousands of miles from me, so not really convenient for a quick visit. I thoroughly enjoy perusing the online photos of the gorgeous yarn, needles, books, etc.

I have noticed that you insist on posting photos of the yarn. This is probably just good marketing, but it really is starting to effect the amount of funding available for the groceries. So far I am hoping that my dear husband has not noticed that we have become vegetarians. He seems to believe me when I tell him the dish in front of him is, by all means, chicken.

I admit that I was seduced by the clever marketing scheme of photos. This, in addition with the other super clever marketing scheme of the word SALE and DISCOUNT had the sought after reaction of me pulling out my overwrought debit card (it cried a little, I merely giggled with anticipation), clicked on the quantity and hit "purchase".

Immediately, there was a sale confirmation waiting for me in my inbox. Oh the joy! Again, very much anticipating the imminent arrival of the most fabulous yarn EVER, I emailed others, announcing that I had purchased yarn on the internet and it was going to be FANTASTIC. I was not even missing the immediate gratification of buying yarn in person and being able to cast on that very minute.

However, dear Yarn Store, I have yet to receive the email saying that my beautiful, perfect, ON SALE WITH A LIMITED QUANTITY yarn has been shipped. For the first couple of days I tried to stay calm. I went to your aforementioned fantastic website, obsessively checking the quantity listed, first nervous because the number had not gone down then, when it had, I thought maybe someone else who wanted MY yarn had purchased EXACTLY the same amount that I had and that all the good yarn was going to THEM!

It has now been a couple of days and I have to say that the distance between my current mental state and one of complete obsession and paranoia is quickly growing smaller and smaller. WHY won't you announce that you have shipped my beautiful, perfect, ON SALE WITH A LIMITED QUANTITY yarn?? My email account has gotten tired from me constantly clicking "check mail". I really will give it a good home. Honest.

For the record, I have been quite loyal to you, oh Yarn Store. Before ordering from you last December I had NEVER ordered yarn online. Since that first happy experience I have never strayed, never ordered from ANYONE else. Before you, I had always patronized Local Yarn Stores. Always. However, YOU offer things that cannot be found at my LYS and I went out on a limb, put my faith in the internet, and ordered. You made it so easy. I didn't have to have an account, a login or a password. There were blessedly few clicks between the yarn and me. I will admit that I have not always been very patient while waiting for my yarn, but have tried to contain those ugly episodes to the confines of my house. You have a good record, oh Yarn Store, of sending the amount I ask for and the yarn is always more beautiful in person.

So PLEASE, pretty pretty PRETTY please, send me the email saying my beautiful yarn is on it's way.

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

Kathleen